My Left Brain takes a Mayan Holiday

Ah, to live life in vacation mode every day!  What does it take?

I explored the texture of that question on a recent trip to Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula.

For sun-chair reading, I’d packed a copy of Jill Bolte Taylor’s My Stroke of Insight.  Neuroscientist Dr. Jill reports “from the inside” what it felt like when a massive stroke shut down the left side of her brain, and put the right side in charge.  As I understand it, the left brain manages linear reasoning and language functions;  the right brain fills a more intuitive, holistic role.  In Dr. Jill’s case, for the first eight months of her eight-year recovery, the “little voice” in her head fell silent.  Imagine!  She used her experience to reflect upon her life in general, and in particular, the relationship between her two different aspects.

Dr. Jill observed that “vacation mode” derives from the right brain.  So simple, I mused?  The question hovered over me like an iridescent Yucatan hummingbird.  Meanwhile, I did the usual holiday things.

One of my travel activities has me strike up conversations with strangers for no reason.  I dusted off my knowledge of Spanish, German and Portuguese to talk to almost anyone I found myself next to, even tried to learn a little Mayan.  Bix a bel, tz'unu'un!  What’s up, Little Hummingbird?  Yet my wife and I both found it hard to start conversations at the resort.  Our fellow vacationers seemed reluctant to connect, as if locked in their tour buses with the windows up.  I felt frustrated.  After this mood settled over me, something startling took place.

En route to climb the great Mayan pyramid at Cobá, we pulled of the road at a corner store in one of the small towns that crouch in the Yucatan interior.  We squeezed in to harvest a few nuts and chicharrones to stave of the need for a tourist-priced lunch.

I plopped a couple of bags of munchies near the cash register, while we continued to hunt for more.  Just then, a small Mayan girl of six or seven came in, chose a bag of the pork-rind snacks and took them to the cashier.  As we arrived at the counter with the rest of our purchases, I saw the store owner already totaling our bill.  The young girl stood waiting.  I sensed him directing preferential treatment toward us “gringo elders”

In my most sophisticated Spanish, I explained that she had preceded us, and that he should look after her first.  Alas, my linguistic abilities failed me.  After a couple of failed attempts followed by puzzled looks, he asked me if I meant to pay for the young girl’s purchase.  Annoyed that my communication attempt had gone so completely wrong, I shook my head and replied, “No, no!  That’s not what I was trying to say.”  Chastened into silence, I let him continue with our order, and we left the store.

While we poked around decaying ruins that afternoon, however, I had my own “micro stroke of insight.”  I saw that I had at least two valid answers to the store owner’s question, “Do you want to pay for hers too?”

My “right-wrong” linear left brain had jumped in and taken control of the situation in the store.  “No, that’s wrong.  That’s not what I was trying to say.”  End of story.

Yet his question had another valid answer, one that my less linguistically adept right brain could only whisper on a quiet trail in a Mayan jungle.  Did I want to spend sixty cents to buy chips for a cute kid who looked as if sixty cents mattered?  Did I crave a chance to make the tiniest human connection, no matter how fleeting?  Yes. I did!  Yes, I had!  Yes, I would have!  And then a wave of sadness and disappointment flooded my soul concerning opportunity missed – not just this one, but for all the little missed opportunities of a lifetime.

Fresh from Dr. Jill’s book, I supplied mental hemispheric interpretation to the event.  My number one priority on this holiday involved connecting to people, just because – I thought that a right-brain function.  Yet I’d let my linear left brain run the whole show with its need to get the Spanish right.

This reflection troubled me.  My troubling in turn shocked me.  My own stroke of insight had allowed me to glimpse how my left brain’s reaction had drowned out my right brain’s voice, leaving my life just a little less rich.  A single thread dropped from an intricate Mayan blanket.  Even after returning from Mexico, I kept brooding.  Intrigued that such a trivial event had bothered me for days, I pulled at the loose thread.

How often had I missed an opportunity like this one because I didn’t want to get something wrong?  Ba’ax ka wa’alik?  Hell-o?  Now I see how many threads I’ve dropped in the tapestry of my life. It’s a good blanket regardless and it keeps me warm, but my stroke of insight showed me that I could weave it even warmer, more colourful.  Sometimes I hush my left brain’s chatter, listening for a second right answer, a fleeting chance to make the human connection, just because.

I’ve watched myself drop a few more stitches since then.  Sometimes I’ve gone back and picked them up again.  I look forward to catching more before the tapestry runs out.  The colours brighten.

Yum bo’otik!  Thank you, Mayan sun god.

Resources

• Jill Bolte Taylor’s My Stroke of Insight.
• Lateralization of Brain Function (Wikipedia)
• Yucatan Tourism
• Mayan Language resources

Living Life in Vacation Mode

I've taken on a new Life Purpose.  Or should I say I've returned to an old one?

"To live life like a child:  to delight in learning something new every day, to treat each person as special, and to share myself without reserve."

One powerful way of waking myself up to this possibility is asking myself the question:  How can I live in "vacation mode" all the time?

I doubt that vacation mode is everyone's key to the Good Life, but it always has been for me.  As much as I've enjoyed the rest of life, my most exciting times have been on vacation, or planning for one, or recalling one.

For me, a vacation is not a time to lie around a pool with a drink in my hand.  I like to do things on holidays:  learn a foreign language – I'm conversant in three so far – get trained in orienteering in the Queensland rainforest – memorable! – or bike from Venice to Florence – coming up this year.

While creating my all too brief 2010 holiday plan, I took on a project to see if I could bring more of holiday mode into everyday living.  So I'm looking for the holiday differentiators:  what works on vacation, and could it work the rest of the time?  I've come up with a few so far.

Do only one good thing every day.

I learned this one a number of years ago when my wife and I took sabbaticals and spent half a year slowly wandering around Costa Rica with our two boys, then nine and twelve.  We moved base every week or three, and spent the time exploring the vicinity, largely by bus and on foot.  During our first month or two, we often planned to experience two destinations in a single outing.  Good project managers that we were, we thought we were being efficient with our time-and-motion studies.  Eventually we learned that we got more out of each excursion if we didn't plan a second stop.  Instead of keeping one eye on a watch, and sometimes missing a great opportunity because we had somewhere else to get to, we could really enjoy our single focus.  If an opportunity opened up, we were free to pursue it.  Some of our best adventures happened this way.  So we made it our holiday rule to try to do only one thing a day.  And to make it a good one.

Talk to people for no reason.

Until recently, I hadn't seen how crucial this was to holiday mode.  During day-to-day life, most of my conversations are about getting something done:  work is full of task-focused talk;  home life conversation is often about chores or finances or kids;  even interactions while out are often centered around commercial transactions.  But on holidays, I just talk to people because they're sitting next to me.  Or just to "practice my Spanish", another excuse to talk for no reason.  Even talking to my wife or my family on vacation is often richer;  we took to planning a holiday with the boys because we knew we'd end up talking more than we do at home.  Now when I'm on vacation, I make a conscious point of talking to more people more of the time for no reason.

Live with less material stuff.

I've got a great home and it's full of useful things, things that mean something to me, fascinating books, great music, computers, coffee-makers, clothes for all seasons, and even mementos of various vacations.  Still, there's something liberating about leaving it all behind.  When we went to Costa Rica, we ended our lease and put the entire contents of the house in storage.  Four large bags for four people was all we took for six months away.  Then, twice in the first two months, we shed half of it;  some we only picked up again on our way home.  For four months, we lived out of two bags, and had a great time.  Now we're going to see if we can do three weeks in Italy with only a carry-on bag each.  I feel "enlightened" just thinking about it.  There are compensations for traveling with less stuff.

Go outside even when the weather isn't cooperating.

When I'm sitting at home, and it's raining, or perhaps just cool and overcast, it's tempting to put off heading outside.  The couch beckons, ... or the computer.  On holiday, I don't let the weather keep me inside.  A vacation is too short to wait a day for the sun to shine.  Ignoring the bad weather pays off.  It's rarely as bad as you expect – and if it is, then it's bad enough to be exciting.  Like getting caught in a downpour, or fighting a gale.  Or experiencing a thunderstorm first hand, one of my favourite vacation pastimes even as a young child – when the weather was cooperating.

Travel with friends and family that you enjoy being with.

That's another holiday principle that should have been obvious.  I plan vacations with people I like.  That's one reason I love vacation time.  If I'm holidaying with strangers, I leave the plan loose enough that we could part ways if we had to.  So far, I can't recall ever needing to.  Even an obnoxious stranger can be easier to take when you're traveling with friends and family whose company you enjoy.

Have sex any time of the day.

Somehow, this seems to be more likely on a holiday.  Must be something about being open to the current moment.  Or not trying to do too much in one day.  Or having less stuff to worry about.  Or going out in the rain.  Or traveling with someone you really love being with.

So now I have my assignment.  From now until my next scheduled vacation, can I be content to do one good thing every day?  Talk to people for no reason?  Live with less stuff?  Go outside even when the weather isn't cooperating?  Spend more time with people I like?  Enjoy some afternoon delight?

Sounds like a vacation to me!

Resources

• How to Discover Your Life Purpose in About 20 Minutes

How I Became the Listing Bucketeer

When I can stand aside from harsh self judgment, I am forced to admit I've had a successful life so far.

I'm nurtured by a fantastic relationship with an incredible woman, my wife of 27 years.  I've fathered two sons who are now young men, and who fill me with pride and joy as they begin to make their way in the world.  With my family, I've moved and traveled when and where I've wanted to, and have experienced life in several different countries.  I've had a varied career, and notwithstanding investments that fell short of the mark, financial independence is within reach.  I've had many adventures along the way:  I've run for political office, helped start a company, learned some foreign languages, developed some real estate, helped run a school, affected many lives.  I've met interesting people and made some very good friends.

Yet, I've found myself often disappointed, yearning to find that one big Mission whose accomplishment would ensure that my life had been worthwhile.  And falling short.  The job wasn't the One that would truly make a difference.  The cause I was supporting wasn't quite good enough.  Nothing quite measured up to my unassailable standards.

One day, a life coach asked me what I would do the following day, if I didn't have to worry about money, or family, or job, or other commitments.  What would I take on if I didn't each have to worry about finding a new cause, or making a difference, or doing Something Important -- with a capital "I"?

It wasn't an entirely new question, but it touched a nerve recently made raw.  After almost six decades on the planet, I resolved to start my Bucket List -- and to apply sustained effort to knocking off the items one by one.

The launch of my List pushed aside the ageing scaffolding of Importance.  For the first time since I was very young, I started to think about things I would do "just because".  No need for them to be earth-shaking, or important in anyone else's eyes, or even Important in my own eyes.  The only test for inclusion on my list was:  would I regret it if I didn't get around to this before my life was over?  Would I feel my life unlived if I could have created the opportunity, and let it slip by instead.

Starting in that moment of decision, I felt myself lifting away from some unneeded concerns.  Living became fun again.  I felt like a wide-eyed child again.  Life was good, and the world was bursting with opportunities.

My List grew slowly at first.  I didn't want to clutter my list with things I thought I should want to do, but didn't yearn for.  No "nice ideas";  no "everyone should want this."  I was careful to make sure everything I added met the requirement:  was this honestly something I would regret not doing?  A final indicator was a certain feeling of "Yes!" when something passed the test:  it had been on my unspoken list all along.  After a couple of weeks, my List had six items on it.  Two weeks later, it had grown almost sevenfold.

More exciting still was getting into action on Item Number One, something that I'd been taking no action on for years.  Pushing considerable fears aside, I went for it.  I could not have imagined what a powerful and liberating experience that would be!  But that's a story for another day.

So too is my laughing thought that my List might yet be the catalyst for Something Important.

Resources:

Here are some of the resources I found most helpful in starting my List:

• Create a List of 100 Things to Do Before You Die by Marelisa Fabrega
• Start 2009 With a Bang: Create a Life List also by Marelisa
• And her great Squidoo Lens: Creating a Bucket List - 100 Things to do Before You Die
• Marelisa now has 525+ Ideas for Your Bucket List
• Marelisa also has a new eBook for sale: How To Live Your Best Life- The Essential Guide for Creating and Achieving Your Life List (affiliate link)
• Death Meditation led by Sheldon at The Quiet Mind - this four-part series was the closest description I found: Death Mediation: meeting death before it comes - and this was one result
• And if you're interested, this was my list as of about week four.

The Bucketeer's List

This is my bucket list as it was after about one month from its inception.  I'm posting it primarily by way of illustration for my short article: How I Became the Listing Bucketeer.  Obviously my actual list is a never-ending work in progress, but I'm not promising to keep this version up to date.


Priority 1:

1.       [redacted to protect personal privacy] – DONE!

2.       Find my passion / discover my life's purpose – do it in a way that inspires others who are also searching – in progress!!!.

3.       Start a blog or column and post at least once a week for 5 months - restarted.

4.       Get my Conflict Resolution certificate – in progress.

And at least one item from each of the Travel Bucket – every year.

Travel Bucket:

5.       Ask in person for the keys to the city in Italy that bears my name – DONE!

6.       Climb a Mayan ruin such as Chichén Itzá or Tikal or Cobá. – DONE!

7.       Climb to Machu Picchu.

8.       Experience an active volcano more powerful than when I saw Arenal or Kilauea.

9.       Explore the lost city of Petra, Jordan .

10.    Explore the ruins of Pompeii or Herculaneum.

11.    Go on a safari in the African savannah, perhaps out of Botswana.

12.    Visit Vilnius, Lithuania and meet with someone bearing my old family name.

13.    Return to Australia, visit my old friends, and snorkel the Great Barrier Reef.

14.    See the Christmas Truce Memorial in Frelinghien, France & the Museum in Ypres, Belgium.

15.    Spend a Christmas in the Alps with my wife.

16.    Stay with on old friend in Cognac, France or suggested rendezvous elsewhere in Europe.

17.    Take my wife and visit the Hotel Weinbauer in Schwangau, Germany.

18.    Visit Stonehenge & some of the Arthurian sites in the UK.

Priority 2:

19.    Create a source of income other than technology or passive investment. - The spirit is starting to form.

20.    Learn Italian well – DONE!

21.    Live in an intentional community that suits me, such as a small “retirement” commune, “free-country” project, or other. - The project has been launched.

22.    Write a novel or book about something I really care about and get it published - about to be restarted!

And at least one item from the Experience Bucket – every year.

Experience Bucket:

23.    Bareboat charter:  skipper a multi-day sailing trip.

24.    Bike or walk across an entire country - Half Done!

25.    [redacted to protect personal privacy]

26.    [redacted to protect personal privacy]

27.    Join a Zorba-style dance in a Greek taverna.

28.    Sail a Hobie Cat with a member of my family.

29.    Sing “Sabor a Mi” to a woman (or several) in a Latin American cantina. – Did a great "practice" run the other day; now for the other "real" thing.

30.    Soar in a fixed-wing glider. – DONE!

31.    Take tango lessons in Argentina.

32.    Watch a space launch (not necessarily in the US), with one of the boys.

Priority 3:

33.    Create enough passive income so that I don't have to work another day in my life - well over half done!

34.    Dance with my sweetheart on my 110th birthday

35.    Live in an ocean-view or oceanfront country house built to my own design, and with plenty of time and space for trees and wildflowers - Started as part of another item on this list.

36.    See the 160s on the bathroom scale again.  Done and then some!

And at least one item from the Learning Bucket – every year

Learning Bucket:

37.    Learn a foreign language well – DONE!

38.    Teach English to students in a foreign country - awaiting the right opportunity.

Candidates & Possible Candidates:

There are two more sections to my list, one containing items that are going to be on the list, but need more specifics in order to arouse sufficient passion.  There are currently about ten of these.  The other contains items that I'm tossing around, but so far, while they might be fun to do, I'm not sure they're bucket-list material.  I'll probably knock off two or three of them this year regardless.

For completeness sake, some things I've already done: 101 Things that have made Life so-far worth Living

Want to Create Your Own Bucket List?

See the short list of helpful resources at the end of my article: How I Became the Listing Bucketeer.
Or check out Marelisa's list of 525+ Ideas for Your Bucket List
Marelisa also has a new eBook for sale: How To Live Your Best Life- The Essential Guide for Creating and Achieving Your Life List (affiliate link)